Here at Social-Engineer, LLC we define social engineering (SE) as “the act of influencing someone to take an action that may or may not be in their best interest.” If you Google search “social engineering” you will find a much more negative definition. We prefer this more broad and open definition because, like most things, we feel social engineering can be used for good OR bad. So, how can YOU use ethical social engineering as a force for good in the world and your personal life? Let’s look at some examples, discuss why it can be beneficial, and find out how to learn these techniques.
SE Techniques: The Building Blocks of Communication
Social engineering techniques can really be the building blocks of good, solid communication, when utilized properly. How so? Consider techniques such as ego suspension, validation, and asking open ended questions. Who of us don’t want to be validated non-judgmentally, asked genuine questions that allow us to express ourselves, and feel like the other person is allowing us to give our opinions? Surely if we all practiced implementing those techniques, conversations around the world would proceed much more smoothly.
Let’s take the base unit of society, families, and applying ego suspension. Arguably, ego suspension is one of the most difficult social engineering techniques to implement. This is because, as humans, we like to be right. So, suspending our egos and letting the other person be right can be very difficult. If executed properly, though, it enables the other person to express themselves fully, without us interrupting them or overshadowing their thoughts with our own opinions. This, in turn, is validating and can encourage them to keep talking to you, strengthening your relationship.
For example, imagine your spouse excitedly starts telling you about a new topic they’re learning about. This is a topic you know quite a bit about, so you’re excited too! Suspending your own ego would look like you not sharing your “greater knowledge”, but instead employing active listening while your partner is speaking. This is the same with your children. Picture your 5-year-old coming up to you and excitedly sharing a newly learned fact about a bug! You may have known this fact for a decade or more, however you responding “Really? Where did you learn that?” will encourage your kid to share more information rather than a response like “I know.” Surely your conversations will go more smoothly if you are able to suspend your ego properly. What a powerful technique!
Techniques such as those above have similar effects on all those around us when utilized effectively. They can positively impact our relationships with our parents, friends, colleagues, therapists, and acquaintances alike. Surely, social engineering, when used ethically, can be a force for good in our life.
HuBe Con: Where the Experts Are
How, though, do you learn these beneficial social engineering techniques? You can start with the Social Engineering Framework, developed by Christopher Hadnagy, in 2009. Reading about these techniques can certainly help you learn more about them and improve your skills.
Wouldn’t you agree, though, that the best way to learn is by hearing and seeing these techniques in action? By learning more about human behavior from the experts? We are happy to announce that now, you can! The Human Behavior (HuBe) conference is back! Join us on October 30th, 2024, for live training and workshops by the experts of persuasion, body language, and elicitation; Joe Navarro, Christopher Hadnagy, and Dr. Abbie. You will learn how to use nonverbals, how to influence decision making, how to use cognitive bias, and practical application for everyday life. This exclusive, hands-on training will enable you to take your skills to the next level. We look forward to seeing you there!
Register now to join us at HuBe here: https://humanbehaviorcon.com/register/the-human-behavior-conference/
Written by
Shelby Dacko
Team Coordinator and Human Risk Analyst