An old adage says: if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all. As true as this is, it may not fully convey the power of silence. The Merrian-Webster Dictionary describes silence as “the absence of sound.” However, silence can be a powerful tool in communication, creating a space for others to express themselves freely. It is often used by human behavior experts, such as negotiators and social engineers, as a means to elicit information. The following are some ways in which silence can be used to improve your communication skills.
Build Rapport
Most people do not think that silence and rapport go hand in hand. One of the most powerful tools in rapport building is active listening. This involves giving full attention to the speaker and engaging with their thoughts and feelings. Of course, there’s more involved in active listening than keeping silent. Strategically using silence creates a non-verbal invitation for the other party to share more. Keeping silent allows the other person to fully expresses themselves. This encourages a deeper connection and understanding between individuals, helping to build trust.
Time to Think
Being silent also allows us time to think of the best response. Ethical social engineers involved in testing employees by vishing calls (voice phishing) will often be asked unexpected questions. A moment of silence can give the social engineer time to gather their thoughts and give a concise and realistic response. This results in more effective testing.
Compel Them to Speak
Silence can be a compelling force that prompts others to speak. This is because silence creates a subtle pressure to fill the void. When one person in a conversation pauses or refrains from responding, the other person may feel the need to continue to elaborate and break the tension silence creates. This technique is very effective in eliciting more information. It can also encourage someone to express thoughts they might otherwise withhold.
Balance is required when using silence as an elicitation technique. Though we want the other person to fully express themselves, waiting too long in silence can make the other person uncomfortable and even want to end the conversation. If we feel the silence is becoming uncomfortably prolonged, we can transition by asking an open-ended question or reiterating something they said. Sometimes a light-hearted remark or a genuine inquiry about the person can allow them to relax and engage in a more comfortable conversation. To delve deeper into effective elicitation strategies, join Chris Hadnagy at the Human Behavior Conference on October 30th.
Empower Others
Silence can be used to empower others. Instead of telling others what to do, It shows them you are interested in what they think. Silence can provide a space for others to express their thoughts and opinions which in turn can give you a better understanding of how to move forward with a project or what changes need to be implemented for their team to succeed.
Silence Has Power
Whether used to build rapport, create a moment of reflection, or compel others to speak, silence can deepen understanding and connection between individuals. It allows for pauses that encourage thoughtfulness and invite openness. Silence is far more than the absence of sound; it can be a strategic tool that improves communication. In a world inundated with noise, the deliberate use of silence can be one of the most powerful ways to communicate.
Written by:
Rosa Rowles
Human Risk Analyst at Social-Engineer, LLC